DEPRESSION, A PANDEMIC, AND POINT-BLANK INERTIA; WHEN A WRITER DOESN’T WRITE

“Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration” – Thomas Edison

My blog has been silent for a long time (18 months!) One might think I have been busily working on other writing: a novel, a memoir, a screenplay. At least a short story or two? That assumption is wrong, my friends. 

Sometimes the life you have gets in the way of the life you want. Some people are better able to take it in stride. I am not one of those people. Although others may see me as laid back and mostly unflappable, inside I do flap. A lot!  

Colorado, of Rocky Mountains majesty fame, has robbed me of my mojo. I’m stuck. I think a change of pace might do me some good. But on the way to my next chapter, a raging pandemic has laid my soul bare. And I know I’m lucky: I didn’t lose my job or any loved ones. But I did lose the freedom to see friends. My yoga studio closed. My tour to Sri Lanka was cancelled. I spent the summer trying to get brown on the shores of Lake McIntosh instead of in the Caribbean. What I realized is that escapism is my lifeline when life gets too real here. I’ve had difficulty finding a meaningful relationship locally, but I can usually find a lover when I travel. When I’m bored I buy a plane ticket and make plans, and that has gotten me through some very dark times and six continents. 

Soon I will be semi-retired, and the optimistic part of my brain says: “Yay! I’ll finally have time to write!” But really, who am I kidding? I’ve had the time, plenty of it, but not the motivation. I have at least a dozen works in progress I could turn to, but I don’t have the discipline to put butt in chair, stay off Facebook and Just Do It! I love to write when I’m inspired. But when inspiration is lacking, what then? 

Thomas Edison famously said, “Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.” This leads me to the conclusion that I ain’t working hard enough! Stubborn doggedness plus talent (you’ve got to have both) is what most successful artists need. My ambitious plan to send queries for my memoir – 10 per month for at least six months – sputtered and halted at 30 sent out and a dozen rejections, plus a lot of silence. I began to doubt myself. 

My Grandpa Harry used to say, “You can do anything you’re big enough to do!” and I’ve often said I do everything I’ve set out to do, besides lose 20 pounds or publish a book. I think it’s time to change that. If I can get the tattoo, set off on solo travel, buy and sell real estate, I can do this. I can! 

New Year’s resolution time is rapidly approaching. In January I will start blogging parts of my memoir. It will be available for purchase, one way or another (traditional or self-published) sometime next year. Screw this pandemic and all the other excuses for inertia. This is something I can do! 

Stay tuned, friends…