This is not the blog I wrote this morning. I scrapped that one. It started like this:
“Did you ever have one of those days? I recently found out that the guy I had a 5-year relationship with (a relationship that ended painfully because he just could not make a commitment and I needed to move on with my life) – just got married.”
And from there it got worse. I went through my relationships and analyzed them, but when I stepped back it was all either bragging or whining.
And nobody needs that shit.
Yes, I was hurt. The words came out like blood from a still-open wound. When you loved someone a lot, it takes a long time to get over it. And maybe nobody understands. But would it really help if they did? I can talk about why I’m awesome (which is true.) I can talk about how I’ve been wronged (which is also true.) In the end, all I can do is learn and grow and carry on. I don’t know why I was placed on this earth, and I don’t know how long I’ll be here. I do know that I have been blessed in many areas. I’ve made some good choices at good times. I’ve also made bad ones. And a lot of life boils down to luck.
Some of the things I have hashed over for year after year are just like a dog chasing its tail. As human beings, we get stuck in these cycles. But I don’t want it anymore. I feel like one reason I’m not resolving my biggest issue (being single for way too long!) is that I am spewing out negativity and regret into the universe, the place where my next and best partner (soulmate, amante, lover) is waiting! He’s probably waiting out the storm of negative energy.
So in the interest of renewal, I have decided to change my zodiac sign. I fear it is the only solution. I am going to stop being a sensitive (sometimes whiney-ass) Pisces and let my rising sign, Taurus the bull, take over.
Check out a Taurus description from Horoscope.com:
Strong, dependable Taurus leads the way when it comes to reaping the rewards of hard work. Lovers of everything that is fine and beautiful, Taureans surround themselves with material gains. This is a sensual, tactile sign. Touch is very important in everything from work to romance. Stable and conservative, Taureans are among the most reliable of the zodiac. While sometimes viewed as stubborn, this sign will plod along on a task until the very end, ensuring that everything is up to standard. They’re highly creative and thoroughly enjoy making things with their own hands.
Now let’s look at Pisces:
“Understanding” is a most appropriate keyword for this gentle, affectionate sign. Easygoing and generally accepting of others around them, Pisceans are often found in the company of a variety of different personalities. Their willingness to give of themselves emotionally lends to an aura of quiet empathy. A Pisces is comforting to be around. While not likely to be the leader, this sign’s presence is strong and vibrant in any cause they put their hearts into.
Which one would you want to tap into to harness the strength to change?
Sorry, Fishy, back burner for you for a while. Hello Bull. And as for the world, better guard your china shop!