Feeling Stuck

Lately I have been in a weird place, and I don’t just mean Colorado. I am moved into my house – check! I have a job I enjoy – check! My daughter and her dog are with me – check! I’ve found a yoga studio I love, even lost a few pounds recently. Life is on track.

Or is it?

I’m realizing that even when things look great on the outside, that doesn’t mean they feel right on the inside. There’s still something missing.

I think of last year – where was I around this time? Pamplona? Madrid? And planning a journey through South America. I have it all down: about 125,000 words. Waiting for me to come in and clean it up, get it in shape to send out.

And I just can’t.

I read it, I play around with a sentence or two. But to do a full-on revision, readying this memoir for the eyes of readers? Somehow I just can’t do it yet. And I don’t know why.

My little office is all set up – a room dedicated for only this. I don’t have tons of time, but that didn’t stop me from writing before. In the echo of my warm empty house this morning, I find myself wishing my Facebook page was more exciting. I wonder if I should vacuum again? I hold my breath, count my heartbeats.

My inclination at times like this is to start something new. But I know that is a distraction and nothing more. When that “something new” became a bumpy but complete first draft, I might abandon that too.

Why don’t I truly believe I have something to say?


About catnipkiss

I am a writer who is working on a travel memoir. I write about issues that speak to my soul: love, sex, yoga, spirituality, body image, dating and friendship, and more as it comes up! I love comments - thanks! What would YOU like to explore?
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3 Responses to Feeling Stuck

  1. soundhealshh says:

    body{font-size:10pt;font-family:arial,sans-serif;background-color:#ffffff;color:black;}p{margin:0px;}WordPress.comCathy- when I’m stuck or procrastinating, I’ll talk to myself: “Now, Christina! You must be feeling [insert feeling here]- put on some music, and take this first step.  Good Girl!  Now, take that second step…no, you can’t go unload the dishwasher first, that will lead to something else, you know yourself well enough to see that! Just DO the SECOND STEP!”  etc.  If you support me in being focused, I’ll support you in breathing through your hurdle- just give yourself encouragement when you’ve accomplished that baby step!Love, Sissy

  2. duwaynecook says:

    You have plenty to say, but at this time you are going through a transformation, look for years you’ve been on the road, so to say. Now you’ve arrived into a completely different life style and it will take a little time to adjust. The main thing is don’t worry about it, just get back into what ever life style you feel the most comfortable and your writing skill shall return in abundance. The very best to you my dear.

  3. Maybe you need a moment to relax? This is just a shot in the dark, but sometimes it helps to just let yourself do absolutely nothing for a week or so. Just to keep your sense of autonomy and have a chance to do nothing but observe what flows through your mind.

    We go on meditation retreats for this purpose. Perhaps your mind is asking you for a retreat.

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