Men are Animals!
How often have I heard a frustrated women exclaim this? But hold on there a minute. Is this not a good thing? I think of the animals I love and their stellar qualities; why would I not want this? In fact, as I ready myself for the dating merry-go-round again soon, I may even make a few suggestions.
A dog is sweet, loyal, and friendly. He wags and licks and sometimes even jumps up for doggy hugs when you come home. He loves to be scratched behind the ears and on the chest. He will flop on his back and expose his tender underside, trusting you to scratch and stroke but never harm. He seeks your touch out of love and will never remind you how long it has been or manipulate you into petting him out of sheer guilt. He is open and affectionate and loves unconditionally. I would love to find a man who is like a dog. (The licking of the face could be rerouted to more appropriate places…)
A cat is also happy to see you when you come home. There are cat-like qualities that a man could easily emulate: the sheer pleasure of being fed, the physical affection.Winding around your legs and wanting to be held. And isn’t purring the coolest thing you have ever heard? I knew a man who almost purred when I kissed and stroked him; it was sexy. Now if we could teach this cat to take turns cooking and not pee on piles of laundry (maybe he could even pick up the pile and wash dry and fold; is that asking too much?) then I could totally be with a cat-like man.
Oh, and then there is my favorite: a man who is like a horse. OK, dirty minds and size queens, that is not exactly what I meant, but I guess I would not be disappointed! Actually, what I am referring to is the physical connection a woman has with her horse if she knows how to ride. (See, I am taking responsibility for my part in the physical interactions.) When you ride with harmony, there is a physical balance that transcends the mere act. Translate this to the physical acts between a man and a woman, and yes, I put in my request for a man who is like a horse.
And what about wild animals? Lions, wolves, bears, tigers? In the movies, one patient person can win the trust of these primal creatures, and they come only to you. You become their one person. Others may suffer the wrath of their claws or teeth, especially if they are protecting their one and only human. Yeah, the old-fashioned gal in me would like to tame the wild side of my man and have the tenderness reserved for only me.
And there are animals that mate for life: wolves, penguins, geese, probably many others. Fidelity is important. Maybe humans were not meant to be monogamous (subject of another blog, I’m afraid…) but loyalty and fidelity are what I ask if I choose you. Because I’ll be giving you my loyalty as well. It’s only fair.
So fellas, go ahead and be an animal. You know you want to. But embody those animal qualities I have described above and you will be receiving in return a woman who will stroke and pet you, ride you with abandon, take the time to earn the trust of your wild side, expect your loyalty and give you hers.
Oh, and do remember not to leave the toilet seat up. You’re not expected to drink out of it, after all. I’ll get you a bowl.